Those Theocons Are So Generous!

Hey, lefties: Rightwing wacko Doug Patton has your presidential candidate all picked out for you!

First he lists the criteria for such a candidate:

1) "It has to be someone who, first and foremost, hates George Bush. That's a given."

2) "[T]here is the requirement that the United States surrender to al-Qaida and leave Iraq immediately."

3) "[T]his person has to view America as a blight on the rest of the world."

4) The person "would have to spout the PC line on global warming."

And finally,

5) The person must regard "capitalism ... as a bane that has brought misery to all who have ever suffered under it."

So who's the Dems' dream candidate?

"Why, Osama bin Laden, of course. The world's most famous terrorist has delivered a new message, via videotape, much of it to the American people."

Or has he?

George Maschke of the Booman Tribune has noticed something interesting :

"Osama Bin Laden's widely publicized video address to the American people has a peculiarity that casts serious doubt on its authenticity: the video freezes at about 1 minute and 36 58 seconds, and motion only resumes again at 12:30. The video then freezes again at 14:02 remains frozen until the end. All references to current events, such as the 62nd anniversary of the U.S. atomic bombing of Japan, and Sarkozy and Brown being the leaders of France and the UK, respectively, occur when the video is frozen! The words spoken when the video is in motion contain no references to contemporary events and could have been (and likely were) made before the U.S. invasion of Iraq."

You can watch the video at the above link, or download an MPEG file and watch it at your convenience.