The "Standards" Wars

 (Okay; so I lied: I'm writing about Craig again ...)

Ever since Sen. Larry Craig's "disgusting restroom antics" made all the headlines, the conservo-fascists have been trying to distance themselves from the concepts that Repugnican politicians A) have sex; that B) sometimes it's gay sex; and that C) sometimes they get caught being hypocrites about it.

And what better way than to claim that, while the Repugs may say one thing and do another, Democrats actually have no standards whatsoever, so who are they to talk?

Leading the charge to blackwash the Dems are Doug Patton, senior writer for and contributor to such august publications as Human Events Online (they also publish Ann Coulter), and Don Feder, one of the Religious Right's token Jews who runs propaganda site/newsletter (See, it's like "grassroots," except the people Feder writes for have never looked down far enough to see the roots of anything.)

"While conservative Republicans have to live and die politically by the moral standards most Americans believe to be a reasonable code of personal behavior," Patton writes, "Democrats have no standards for personal conduct."

And what examples of the Dems' lack of standards does Patton dredge up?

"President Bill Clinton refused to resign from office and served out the remainder of his term despite his crimes."

Yeah, right; Clinton lied about his sex life ... and how many 'Pugs have been caught doing that in the last couple of years?

Patton also cites Ted Kennedy's Chappaquiddick car crash, Barney Frank's boyfriend allegedly running a prostitution ring out of Frank's D.C. apartment (for which we only have that ex-boyfriend's word for it, to which a lot of people don't give a lot of credence), and a couple of Representatives, one gay, one straight, who've allegedly had sex with House pages... but, Patton assures, "The list goes on and on and on."

Aside from the hilarity generated by the concept that Democrats have lower personal standards than Repugnicans - think Cheney; think Gonzales; think "macaca"; think David Vitter - Patton goes on to try to "rehabilitate" Craig anyway:

"Is it fair that Larry Craig is forced to resign from the Senate on the strength of such flimsy evidence?"

He pled guilty!!! If that's "flimsy evidence," Dennis Rader, the BTK ("bind-torture-kill") killer who confessed to 10 murders over a 17-year period, ought to be roaming the streets right now!

"Should Barney Frank and Ted Kennedy be wearing orange jump suits at the Massachusetts state prison instead of attempting to destroy the Constitution on a daily basis in the U.S. Congress?"

Only if W and Dickie and Al are right alongside them!

"Democrat constituents apparently don't care what their elected officials do."

Good thing you stuck that "elected" in there, Doug, so you can exclude "Rev." Pat Robertson's African diamond mines run by slave labor, "Rev." Jimmy Swaggart's multiple whoring, "Rev." Jim Bakker's fling with his secretary which which he paid for with embezzlement of church funds, "Rev." Ted Haggard's full-body massages and meth use with a male hooker - looks like Repugs don't much care what their unelected officials do!

Feder, on the other hand, went for a slightly different tack, describing Matt Foreman, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, who publicly questioned Craig's proclaimed "family values," as an "infuriating, pathetic hypocrite."

"At least ostensibly, Larry Craig has a moral code, which he violated," Feder writes. "But even in his 'infuriating, pathetic' way, Craig managed to affirm the adage, 'Hypocrisy is the tribute vice plays to virtue.' Deep down, he knew his actions were reprehensible, and so sought to hide them -- thus paying tribute to the code he lacked the integrity to follow."

Well, aside from the fact that almost everyone lies about sex, what Feder says doesn't even make sense. A "moral code" isn't like being a "good driver." If you get busted for going 80 in a 50 mph zone, you're a speeder; you're not a "good driver who got caught speeding." Likewise, if Craig got caught soliciting gay sex while claiming to be against gay sex, he's just a lying hypocrite, not a "moral guy who strayed."  Attila the Hun wasn't a "moral guy" who, according to Wikipedia, is "remembered as the epitome of cruelty and rapacity" for having conquered most of eastern Europe and the Balkans; he was a fucking barbarian!

"No one can accuse the left of sexual hypocrisy," Feder continues. "To be a hypocrite, one must have an ethical code he can violate. When it comes to sex, the left has no standards. It's hard to imagine a consensual act of which the typical liberal would disapprove."

<sigh> If only that were true! But Dems, for the most part, are just as fucked up about sex as 'Pugs; they just lie about it a little less. And let's not forget that consensual sex actually has nothing to do with "morality"; "morality" is things like honoring your commitments, avoiding harming other people, standing up for the "unalienable rights" of everyone - you know: The opposite of George W. Bush.

And even Feder knows this!:

"But leftists do have an ethos -- one that has little to do with Judeo-Christian values. It involves issues like poverty, race relations and global warming. The left violates it own standards so frequently and massively as to make Craig seem a model of consistency, by comparison."

Feder goes on to cite - out of context, of course - Al Gore's big home electric bill; that John Edwards drives an SUV and gets "$400 haircuts" (a lie, by the way); and that Michael Moore lives in a nearly all-white community ... plus several other proven lies that allegedly bolster his point.

Bottom line: If Daniel Craig (or Don Feder or Al Gonzales or Ted Haggard or George Bush) are examples of "Judeo-Christian values," I'll take Xaviera Hollander (the "Happy Hooker") any day!


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