The Perfect TV Show For Theocons

There's this new show, see, called Pushing Daisies. It's about this guy, see, who can bring people back to life just by touching them - which in itself is a problem, because for every person he brings back to life, another one dies - but anyway, he can only touch a dead person once, because once they're brought back to life, if he touches them again, they die instantly and can't be revived again.

Anyway, it just so happens that the guy has this girl he's been in love with since they were kids living across the street from each other. Years go by, they drift apart ... but suddenly, just as he finds her again, she dies - so of course, he touches her and brings her back to life ... but now he can never touch her again, much less fuck her, or she'll die instantly.

Let's face it: What show could be more perfect for the Parents Television Council crowd?

ABC just renewed the show for a full season. My advice: Avoid this like the plague.

Oh, yeah ... speaking of PTC, they just released their annual list of the 20 top network TV shows rated as best to worst for kids 2-17 to watch.

As you might have guessed, the best show for kids to watch? Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, where each week, some asshole with a shitload of money goes to the home of some average family and totally renovates it. Next in line? Sunday Night Football (although now that Keith Olbermann's joined the "cast," PTC might have to lower its ranking.)

The worst shows for kids? Family Guy, American Dad, CSI, Heroes, Grey's Anatomy and House, "Every one a Maserati," as Robin Williams would say, with The Simpsons, America's Funniest Home Videos and Dancing with the Stars all getting yellow "warning" lights.