Sometimes Even Their Hidden Agendas Have Hidden Agendas

Hi, porn stars! Like playing Russian Roulette? How about if every time you did a sex scene - and many of you do upwards of 20 per month - you were actually playing the odds over whether you'd wind up pregnant from it?

The American Life League, a group whose purpose is not exactly secret since most people know the jargon - "life," for the righties, always means "anti-abortion" - has now revealed that it has an even more disgusting agenda: Making baby-slaves out of every woman in America.

Check out the salient paragraph in their "Declaration on Truth and Life ," which 86 "pro-life" groups have now signed on to:

"Human life is a miraculous gift from God. Moreover, it is the crowning gift to the loving union of man and woman. When barriers are put in place to block the gift of life and when the gift of life is controlled through science and technology, children easily become viewed as commodities, or material "things," instead of gifts. Respect for human life is impossible without respect for conjugal union. Contraceptive acts and reproductive technologies that manipulate or replace conjugal union are a rejection of the gift of life - and most often include the foreseen deaths of tiny children."

And you thought all they wanted to do was take away your abortions rights!

But no:

"Abortion will never end as long as society approves the use of contraception. The practice of contraception means children are unwanted and provides the rationalization for abortion. It is a violation of human dignity to promote or accept the use of contraception."

Isn't that great? All you porn stars - and any other woman who fancies a roll in the hay - will, if these jackasses get their way, henceforth always have to worry about whether a quick fuck means you'll be carrying a fetus for nine months thereafter.

But wait; don't some of you women want to get pregnant, but for some reason can't? Sorry; you're shit out of luck as well:

"Artificial methods of reproduction (in vitro fertilization, 'test tube' babies), likewise, are immoral because they involve the laboratory production and destruction of children.... It is a violation of human dignity to promote or accept the use of such technologies because they seek to manipulate and destroy the gift of life."

So listen up, all you so-called "adult women": God'll tell you when (or if) you'll have kids, so shut up about it!

And isn't it nice to know that so many Repugnican presidential candidates have signed onto this program as well?!

"For example, on his first date with National Right to Life committee this year, Mitt Romney set out to convince anti-abortion leaders that he was their Mr. Right," writes Cristina Page on "At their national conference, he rattled off what made him special. To layman's ears, it all sounded pretty standard: He wants to overturn Roe v Wade. He supports only teaching abstinence to teens. But for those trained to hear the subtleties, Romney was admitting to his anti-abortion sweethearts something more. He inferred an opposition to the birth control pill and a willingness to join in their efforts to scale back access to contraception. With this political pillow talk there are key phrases, codes, to listen for - and for those in the religious right keeping score Romney nailed each one.

"One code was 'I fought to define life as beginning at conception rather than at the time of implantation.' The pregnancy specialists, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, define pregnancy as starting at implantation. This makes sense, given implantation is the first moment a pregnancy can be known. The anti-abortion movement would like a pregnancy to start at the unknown moment sperm and egg meet, fertilization. They'd also like you to believe, despite only evidence to the contrary, that the birth control pill prevents that fertilized egg from implanting in the womb. (Even the anti-abortion movement's most respected physicians have attempted to prove to their brethren these claims are false to no avail.) Romney's statement, to the anti-abortion movement, is code for 'I, like you, hope to reclassify the most commonly used forms of contraceptives as abortions.' In fact, he told the crowd, he already had some practice redefining contraception, stating, 'I vetoed a so-called emergency contraception bill that gave young girls abortive drugs without prescription or parental consent.'"

According to Page, Romney's hardly the only one playing the verbal two-step. Anti-porn candidate Sen. Sam Brownback has said, "Life is worthy of respect and protection from the moment of conception," and has co-sponsored several bills to cut off federal funds to Planned Parenthood, a pro-birth control organization the theocons hate with a passion. Sen. John McCain's publicity flacks have made sure the wingnuts know that their guy has "consistently voted against taxpayer funded contraception programs," and Rep. Tom "Minutemen on the Border" Tancredo has said that the morning-after pill "cheapens human life, and simply uses a woman's body to dispose of the child instead of a doctor." And unannounced candidate Fred Thompson will no longer cop to the fact that he used to be a lobbyist for a contraception advocacy group.

Frankly, I never understood why Bush was cutting all those funds from organizations that give out condoms and such in Third World countries that have high rates of HIV infection - the excuse of, "Well, we want them to practice abstinence" never sat very well on my brain. Now I understand: Contraception is just like abortion! Similar "logic" must have been used to, as Page notes, attempt to strip birth control coverage from federal employees' health insurance plans, appoint "anti-contraception leaders to critical posts including the contraception advisory panel of the FDA and to oversee nation's contraception program for the poor," and of course, prohibit federally-funded "sex ed" programs from talking about condoms except to say how unreliable they are.

Page is a spokesperson for Birth Control Watch , a group whose motto is "Contraception Without Exception." They recommend seven questions to ask whoever's running from office in your district:

1. Do you support couples having access to safe and effective birth control options, including emergency contraception?
2. Do you agree that for women to achieve equality, they must have access to family planning services, including birth control and contraception?
3. Do you support requiring health insurance plans that cover prescription drugs to cover birth control and contraception?
4. Do you support expanding current federal funding for Title X and Medicaid so that women with low incomes have more access to birth control options?
5. Do you support requiring pharmacies to dispense birth control to patients without discrimination or delay?
6. Do you support comprehensive sex education being taught in schools that includes information about abstinence, contraception and how to avoid sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV/AIDS?
7. Do you support the Prevention First and Access to Birth Control (ABC) Acts?

Seems like a good idea to me!


icon AVN NEWSLETTERS -- stay informed
AVN puts an honest, funny, and skeptical spin on the state of sexual pop culture, celebrity, and politics.
AVN Daily
Internet Weekly
Novelty Weekly
Gay Weekly
The Pulse - The Industry's Entertainment Tabloid