Asshole For President

"Political/communications consultant" Don Feder, who once wrote (I'm guessing) similar tripe for the Boston Herald, recently put a new "commentary" on GrassTopsUSA, one of the bloated conservative house organs - "GrassTops," get it? Like "grassroots" but for all those "holier than thou" elite Repugnican conservatives - in which he gave reasons why he'd make the best president of the U.S.; among them being, "At the outset, a solemn pledge: I will not set myself forth as an agent of change, a Washington outsider or a businessman who can bring his management skills to bear on the federal behemoth... I won't get misty-eyed while recalling my humble origins, nor will I parade my adorable family before you to prove that I really don't have two heads and a tail... For the duration of the campaign, I will neither look at an opinion poll nor listen to a focus group."

However, among his "qualifications" for the job, he lists: "I've always been a taxpayer, never a tax-consumer."

Well, hold on there a minute, sport; let's just consider whether that's at all accurate.

I'm guessing Feder lives somewhere in the United States, so therefore:

  • His house is protected against burning to the ground by the tax-paid fire department

  • He himself is protected against being mugged or burgled by the tax-paid police department

  • He's unlikely to get some deadly disease when he eats in a restaurant thanks to the tax-paid health department inspectors

  • He's even more unlikely to suffer some grievous injury from the pills his doctor prescribes because the effects of those pills have been vetted by the tax-paid Food & Drug Administration

  • He can travel from place to place in the country on the tax-paid federal and municipal roadway system

I could go on and on, but why bother; it's obvious that Feder is yet another self-styled "rugged individualist" who "picks himself up by his own bootstraps" - as long as they're attached to tax dollars.

"I'm not the product of an Ivy League education," he states. That's for damn-sure!


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