Asshole For President

"Political/communications consultant" Don Feder, who once wrote (I'm guessing) similar tripe for the Boston Herald, recently put a new "commentary" on GrassTopsUSA, one of the bloated conservative house organs - "GrassTops," get it? Like "grassroots" but for all those "holier than thou" elite Repugnican conservatives - in which he gave reasons why he'd make the best president of the U.S.; among them being, "At the outset, a solemn pledge: I will not set myself forth as an agent of change, a Washington outsider or a businessman who can bring his management skills to bear on the federal behemoth... I won't get misty-eyed while recalling my humble origins, nor will I parade my adorable family before you to prove that I really don't have two heads and a tail... For the duration of the campaign, I will neither look at an opinion poll nor listen to a focus group."

However, among his "qualifications" for the job, he lists: "I've always been a taxpayer, never a tax-consumer."

Well, hold on there a minute, sport; let's just consider whether that's at all accurate.

I'm guessing Feder lives somewhere in the United States, so therefore:

His house is protected against burning to the ground by the tax-paid fire department

He himself is protected against being mugged or burgled by the tax-paid police department

He's unlikely to get some deadly disease when he eats in a restaurant thanks to the tax-paid health department inspectors

He's even more unlikely to suffer some grievous injury from the pills his doctor prescribes because the effects of those pills have been vetted by the tax-paid Food & Drug Administration

He can travel from place to place in the country on the tax-paid federal and municipal roadway system

I could go on and on, but why bother; it's obvious that Feder is yet another self-styled "rugged individualist" who "picks himself up by his own bootstraps" - as long as they're attached to tax dollars.

"I'm not the product of an Ivy League education," he states. That's for damn-sure!