LOS ANGELES — The 2009 Fans of Adult Media and Entertainment (F.A.M.E.) Awards started a bit late this evening, in part because of the array of stars lined up to walk the red carpet, but once Wicked Pictures contract star (and, as the announcer put it, "the next Senator from Louisiana") Stormy Daniels took the podium, things moved along swiftly. (photo gallery and winner's list)
Of course, it wasn't all smooth sailing for Stormy. First, Marcus London tried to horn in on her introduction, until the busty blonde finally had to order him off-stage to get her a latte. Then Randy Spears thought she might be in need of a co-host. Her response? "Just because I've allowed you the privilege of fucking me doesn't mean I want to share my spotlight with you."
Finally, Evan Stone offered his assistance as well, noting that he brought with him a wide array of costumes for the occasion, but Stormy was adamant: "There's room for only one attention whore on this stage," she argued.
From that point, events proceeded swiftly. Joanna Angel and Jenna Haze were tagged to present the Favorite Breasts award — and wouldn't'cha know it? Stormy took the trophy for the third year in a row. "I've got one for Thunder and one for Lightning," she said, referring to her nicknames for her ample bosoms, "but what am I going to do with this third one?"
She glanced briefly in the direction of her pussy, then at the trophy, and quickly concluded, "Nope, that looks like it would hurt."
Evan Seinfeld and Tera Patrick, after acknowledging the Trophy Girl for the first half of the awards — their own newly-minted contract star Lupe Fuentes — presented the Favorite Ass award to Teagan Presley, who accepted graciously and particularly thanked her boyfriend Joshua for helping her get her ass back in shape.
Then it was on to the first movie clip of the evening, from Not the Cosbys XXX, introduced of course by its star, and one of XXX's newest personalities, Thomas "Cliff Huxtable" Ward, who gave the audience a good taste of his excellent Bill Cosby impression.
Next came the Hottest Body award, presented by Sunny Lane and Vicky Vette — and for some reason, Cousin Stevie also appeared on stage to help the pair read the nominees. Digital Playground star Jesse Jane took the top honor, but since she was unable to attend, fellow contract star Riley Steele stepped in to receive the trophy.
One of the most fiercely contested awards was for Favorite Star Website, and all the contenders were top-notch, but in the end, Jayden Jaymes presented the trophy to Tera Patrick for terapatrick.com.
On the other hand, it was practically a foregone conclusion that Jenna Haze would again win the favorite Oral Starlet prize, and presenters Tori Black and Evan Stone were only too glad to hand it to her. Her response: "I love you all, and please keep watching my movies!"
After Adam & Eve contract star Kayden Kross hosted a clip from Ren Savant's upcoming apocalyptic thriller The 8th Day, it was on to the fans' Favorite Director, which went to Belladonna. But with the diminuitive star absent from the proceedings, presenters Alexis Texas and Mr. Pete handed the trophy to Bella's good friend Tricia Devereaux (aka Mrs. Karen Stagliano). However, with Tricia backstage getting photographed with the award, she missed her chance to receive Bella's second award of the evening, for Favorite Anal Starlet, and presenters Riley Steele and Rio Valentine had to carry it off-stage themselves.
Returning star Eva Angelina and pal Teagan Presley then presented a clip from Eva's comeback movie, Deviance: Eva Angelina, from skinworXXX, and followed that up by presenting the Favorite Gonzo Movie award to Lexington Steele (and director Jules Jordan) for Lex the Impaler 3.
But the F.A.M.E. Awards weren't the only awards of the evening. Web entrepreneurs Twisty's also presented their Treat of the Year: A $10,000 check and a pink Rolex watch, which were split between site members' favorite Kayden Kross and the gal who received over 25,000 votes, Bree Olson.
The next pair of presenters got to have some fun, as Randy Spears said to Jessica Drake, "Can i ask you a question?", to which she quickly responded, "Yes, I'm not wearing any underwear." That wasn't the question he was going to ask however — but since that was much less interesting, let's just say that Daisy Marie — "I'm the one who made up the Latin Twist, baby!" — was happy to receive the prize for Favorite Underrated Star.
Famed Vivid director Paul Thomas then took the podium to show a clip from the third incarnation of the Devil in Miss Jones saga, this one starring Belladonna and subtitled "The Resurrection."
Jules Jordan was then happy to accept, for Brazzers, the Favorite Studio award from Alyssa Reece and Tory Lane, but it took three babes — Wicked stars Alektra Blue, Mikayla Mendez and Kaylani Lei — to present the Dirtiest Girl in Porn award to a well-deserving winner: Jenna Haze.
Marcus London finally returned with Stormy's coffee, and just in time to introduce a clip from her next blockbuster movie, in which London also stars, Operation: Tropical Stormy.
The Favorite Female Star was also a repeat performance. Tera Patrick took the trophy for the second time, and Tommy Gunn, Veronica Rayne and Lexi Love were only too glad to give it to her. And as for the Favorite Rookie Starlet, last year's winner Bree Olson handed the crown to this year's winner, Tori Black.
Alothough there was also stiff competition for the next prize, no one was surprised when Sunny Leone and Kirsten Price handed the Favorite Male Star award to Evan Stone, nor was it surprising when last year's much-heralded (and damned expensive) Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge copped top honors as the fans' Favorite Feature Movie, with Digital Playground's own Riley Steele on hand to accept the trophy, along with star Tommy Gunn.
It was a hell of an evening, and those who attended also got to gawk at such well-known personalities as Monique Alexander, Dana DeArmond, Bobbi Starr, Darryl Hanah, Misti Dawn, Draven, Sinnamon Love, Aiden Starr and dozens more lovely ladies.
Pictured: Alektra Blue, Nikki Benz and Jessica Drake.