LOS ANGELES—If results of a new study are accurate, young French men who watch a lot of porn are no longer feeling terribly... French. Specifically, the study found that a full 25 percent of French males under the age of 25 who watch porn admitted feeling less than secure about the size of their croissants (i.e. penises).
Fortunately, reassured The Local, "This insecurity apparently decreases with age. If 34 percent of 18 to 24 year-olds feel inadequate when watching porn, that number falls to 14 percent among the over 65s."
Still, the results must be a blow to the French, who have maintained their identity as the world's greatest lovers through revolutions and world wars, only to be brought to their knees by a silly thing called the internets.
As explained by polling agency lfop, which conducted the survey, "If the French maintain a certain distance between reality and the plastic 'out of the ordinary' presented in porn movies, the sight of the over-sized male organs can increase anxiety among young men."
The anxiety is apparently heightened by the fact that "61 percent of 18 to 24s believe that the size of the male sexual organ plays a key role in being a successful lover."
Another factor adding to their sense of inadequacy may be a 2012 study that found that Frenchmen "have smaller penises than their British, Swedish and German counterparts. Although the study did conclude that Frenchmen have typically bigger penises than Americans."
That's a bald-faced lie, of course. Everyone knows that American exceptionalism extends to the penis.
Be that as it may, the recent French study also contains some other good news. Namely, "Almost half of French couples tried to recreate scenes they had watched in porn films," and, "Around 11 percent of couples admit to making a sex tape, which represents almost double (6 percent) the number who were making home-movies back in 2009."