CHATSWORTH, Calif.—Monarchy Distribution CEO Mike Kulich, always one to seize any opportunity to milk current events for all the marketing potential they're worth, issued an open letter Wednesday evening to Thomas Bagley, the Duke University student who exposed classmate Belle Knox's extracurricular porno pursuits to the rest of the student body, offering Bagley his own shot at stepping before triple-X cameras.
The screamingly tongue-in-cheek letter shoots right to the heart of the bald-faced hypocrisy of those who've shamed and bullied Knox for her job choice, which she herself so eloquently called to light in her Tuesday essay for XOJane.com, wherein among other biting observations she noted, "You want to see me naked. And then you want to judge me for letting you see me naked."
Kulich's letter to Thomas Bagley follows:
Dear Mr. Bagley,
First off, I would like to thank you for being such a fan of our business. For someone who subscribes to a site like Facial Abuse I want to commend you for spending the $200 a week your parents send you every week for living expenses wisely. Facial Abuse is a great site! There is nothing like watching a new girl getting a huge cock viciously rammed down her throat. I like your taste!
I want to also commend you on getting accepted into Duke. Great school! I am sure your parents are proud. I bet you pull straight A's when you're not whacking it to Facial Abuse and Casting Couch movies. I love our fans and I love you! You are the type of guy that makes our business move.
With that I would like to make you an offer. As I sit here in my office at 6:30 on a Wednesday night I am writing a check for $10,000 to pay to the order of Thomas Bagley. I want to give you the opportunity to live out all your fantasies. In addition to that 10K, there is a plane ticket and hotel room with your name on it out here in sunny Los Angeles. Screw the polar vortex. Get your ass out and come shoot for us! I will give you the opportunity to bang ANY porn star you want. We will make you a celebrity because it is apparent how much you love porn and attention.
10 Grand is a lot of money for a kid like you. Do you know how many porn memberships you could buy with that? That is more than a lifetime membership to Facial Abuse!
I ask that you seriously consider our offer. Any girl you want! Come out to LA and become a star. ALSO, for every inch you are packing over 4, I will throw in an EXTRA $1,000. Get your tiny pecker out here and become the next Ron Jeremy kiddo!
All my best,
15303 Ventura Blvd
Sherman Oaks, CA 91403
(Pictured: Mike Kulich)