Missy Stone is sitting down with a blanket wrapped around her, smoking a cigarette outside of an undisclosed location. We're on the set of Lee Roy Myers’ latest comedy, Scrubs — A XXX Parody, and New Sensations has spared no expense to imitate the original, going so far as to rent a mainstream medical set, the owners of which went all "Dick Cheney" to ensure we in the press wouldn't divulge the location.
Since my iPhone wasn't getting any reception, I couldn't check to see if we had been grayed out of Google Earth, but I did have to sign all sorts of non-disclosure agreements. Missy, meanwhile, is recovering from an early morning anal.
"It wasn't supposed to be an anal scene," she says. "But just before it started, I was asked what my anal rate is. Then, 'You have 10 minutes to do an enema.'" Missy smiles and shrugs.
It's all part of being a star on the rise. Everybody wants to put it in your butt.
Inside, it's a maze of mostly medical sets. If you follow the moans, they end at a hospital room where Myers has Shane Diesel performing a not-so-delicate surgical procedure on Thea Marie.
Myers is fresh off of the success of his first parody for New Sensations, The Office — A XXX Parody, which was released earlier in the week. Word on the set is that it has already sold out of its first run. Myers, understandably, has nothing but kind words for his associates in the adult industry.
"I saw great comedic talent in a chosen few of the top porn stars in the world," says Myers, "and luckily for me they are the best fuckers in the business. So New Sensations and I worked together to figure out what would be the best follow up parody to The Office — A XXX Parody. We looked at the biggest hits on TV today with the most fanatical viewers, the funniest writing and the most sexual tension and viola, Scrubs — A XXX Parody was born."
Ashlynn Brooke plays Elliot Reid, the show's sexy blonde doc. James Deen plays Jonathan "J.D." Dorian, the daydreaming male lead who provides the show's voice-over narration.
"Ashlynn is absolutely and unequivocally the embodiment of pure sexiness and genius comic timing," Myers adds.
But it's the upcoming scene that has Myers particularly enthusiastic.
"It's going to be the all-star scene of the year. We've got James Deen, male performer of the year, along with Joanna Angel and Alexis Texas — three of the biggest stars in porn today and they're going to fuck each other's brains out."
In another part of the maze, Alexis Texas has just gotten out of make-up. Her blonde locks are all done up and she's wearing a white robe. James Deen has found a wheelchair and is wheeling around Joanna Angel on his lap while she talks on the phone.
"I've worked with James before and I've worked for Joanna," says Alexis. "This is the first time I'm going to work with both of them together. They're always a good time."
Last time I ran into Alexis she was dressed up as a businesswoman for Myers' The Office — A XXX Parody and she taught me a word I had never heard before: Motorboating. (see: "New Sensations Parodies 'The Office': http://business.avn.com/articles/33882.html) Today, she was ready to teach me another one.
"Spidermanning," Alexis says with a big smile. "It's what happens when a guy jerks off in his hand and throws it at a girl's face. One time I was shooting a scene with James Deen, and Robby D. asked how I wanted to do the cum shot. So I suggested the Spiderman. I let James Spiderman me and he threw his cum in my face. You have to switch it up every now and then or else it gets boring."
As James and Joanna roll by again in the wheelchair I wonder if there will be any Spidermanning on today's shoot.
"It's up to the director," Alexis notes. "Since it's a feature, I don't know if they're going to let me."
The wheelchair comes to a screeching halt and Joanna gets up. Missy walks in and sits on James' lap. "I'm cold," she says, still wrapped in her blanket.
"That's the beauty of being in a wheelchair, girls will sit on your lap," James says and wheels off into the maze.
Today, Joanna and Alexis will be playing a pair of girls driving by in a car as James Deen streaks down the road. "It's a parody of the scene from the Will Ferrell movie Old School," says Joanna. "Alexis and I drive by James, see him streaking and I ask him what he's doing. He answers, 'We're all streaking!' but he's the only one."
When Missy and James roll back in, Thea's moans grow ever louder. Her operation with Shane is nearing its conclusion. The conversation turns to Shane's legendary monster cock and adjectives are thrown around with raised eyebrows.
"I've never seen it before," Missy says.
"It's big," someone replies.
When the scene wraps, Myers walks in and the topic of the Spiderman comes up. Myers listens intently as he's told about it. His verdict?
"I like to sit down with the stars and we plan out the scene together," he says. "I like them to do what they do best, so if it comes down to it ... we'll see. Let the cum fall where it may."
Scrubs — A XXX Parody will be released May 18.