CHATSWORTH, Calif.—Veteran salesman Howard Levine has put his own irreverent stamp on the latest from Hot Mess Entertainment by crafting a typically farcical title with a very personal touch for the young girl-themed release. St. Howard's School for Unwed Mothers is shipping now from his Exile Distribution.
In promotion of the eponymous addition to the Hot Mess catalog, Levine cracked that he intends to open an actual institution of the same name.
"I have always dreamed of having a school for unwed mothers, runaway girls and high school dropouts looking for a father figure," Levine proffered. "Bad girls are just so hot, but that's not why I want a school—it would be to give back to the community."
He continued, "If the proceeds are substantial enough [from the sale of St. Howard's School for Unwed Mothers], I will direct all of my commission to starting that school. But that means we'll have to get over 700 pieces out. Jesus, that's not easy."
Describing the type of candidates he would envision enrolling in this "school," Levine said, "I'm looking for the worst of the worst, like girls who do lesbian stuff right in the shelter. They need the most guidance."
In conclusion, Levine asserted, "I have a dream ... a wet dream, actually."
To order St. Howard's School for Unwed Mothers, contact Levine at (818) 576-9464 or firstname.lastname@example.org.