UNITED KINGDOM—Poor Britain. One minute it wants to get rid of all the porn, and the next it's punishing old people for not paying their porn bill. Sweet Jesus, island nation, would you please make up your mind? The split personality that is the contemporary Brit—half-hooligan and half-saint—is starting to concern the rest of us, because you do not seem to realize that your influence actually stops at the shores to your little country.
So yes, the story of the British pensioners who can't get a break when it comes to pay-per-view porn caught our eye, but also because of the size of the Virgin Media bill they now are being asked to pay—900 pounds, which works out to a tad over $1500!
That's a lot of porn for 72-year-old Ann Hayward and her 75-year-old husband Ron to have purchased, and in fact they both swear that neither did. But first we have to travel back a few years, to 2009, when the same couple was charged 190 pounds for x-rated movies they said then they never ordered or watched, and then forward to 2012, when the same thing happened, only the bill was then 500 pounds!
You'd think two instances would have put a complete end to the Hayward's porn problems, but no. After Virgin Media agreed to waive the earlier bills if the couple agreed to turn off their "on-demand" feature, this year the couple decided to upgrade their service when they added a Tivo box provided by Virgin, only to be told they needed to reactivate the "on-demand" feature, which they "reluctantly" did.
"But Virgin staff have now called and told the pair they’d viewed dozens of pay-per-view adult films and would be a getting a bill for over £200," reported the Manchester Evening News. "When the pair again insisted they had not watched the films and would not pay, Virgin bosses told the couple they would pull the plug on all the couple’s £80-a-month services - TV, broadband and television - in May."
Ann's response? “I told them they can take me to court. I’m not paying a penny. There’s obviously something wrong with the technology.”
Everyone appears to be standing their ground this time around. Virgin Media spokeswoman Dana Hashem responded, “These films were unquestionably watched by someone in the Haywards’ home. We are happy to arrange a payment plan but have said they may want to find an alternative provider going forward.”
We're waiting for the Daily Mail article surmising that neighborhood school kids broke into the pensioners homes to feed their porn addictions.
Photo: Not the Haywards!