AMSTERDAM - If there's one thing we can learn from the 1998 Sci-fi disaster film Deep Impact, it's that we need to be prepared for catastrophe. That's what the Dutch city of Leeuwarden was attempting to do when it created its small-but-stroke-worthy porn archive.
In the event that a comet the size of Texas one day destroys its neighboring city of Amsterdam, turning all porn shops and hookers to dust, the city wisely collected an assortment of pornographic photos, drawings, and writings in its historical center.
Sadly, that archive is now missing.
Spokesman Erik Krikke said the collection of smut was small enough to fit in a moving box and believed it may have been taken "accidentally" by an employee or visitor.
"We're hoping that someone will say 'Hey, I have that in my attic' and bring it back," Krikke said. "No questions asked."
Krikke told reporters that the bulk of the archive was assembled by a fanatical curator at the historical center during the 1960s and ‘70s. Among the missing items is a copy of a rare 1998 Dutch Playboy featuring the girls of Elfstedentocht, the country's hugely popular ice skating race. One of the models showcased was born in Leeuwarden.
According to Krikke, most of the material in the archive is of local origin and irreplaceable.