VAN NUYS, Calif.—It's not every day one gets a press release as amusing as today's missive from DreamZone Entertainment. We've heard other tales of angry fans threatening bodily harm to porn producers and directors who dare put their X-rated spin on a cherished cultural icon. But this may be the first time that supernatural forces have been invoked.
Late last week, DreamZone Entertainment Vice President Adam Hasner received an email from an enraged wizard named Professor Sneep, outlining his anger over Hairy Twatter: a DreamZone Parody (available August 28). The wizard directed his wrath at Hasner by magically embedding a potent squirrel spell into his email.
The DreamZone team promptly sent along photographic evidence of what they call “the first documented case of human-to-animal transmogrification via a spell-infused email.” The text of the email in question, which purportedly turn Hasner into a common gray squirrel, can be read (cautiously) in full at HairyTwatterXXX.com.
Reached for comment on the situation, Hasner reportedly said: “Tik tik tik eeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee. Tik TIK EEEE TIK! Order now.”
While Sneep’s email may be the most drastic form of protest yet taken by devotees of that similarly named series of books and movies, DreamZone reports that there have been plenty of other anti-Twatter rumblings throughout the internet. Tweets, emails and blog postings from witches, wizards and wannabes who find the Hairy Twatter parody distasteful have been reaching the DreamZone offices since the title’s announcement.
Until Professor Sneep’s message, the studio had not been concerned about necromantic revenge. Feeling a bit squirrely themselves, DreamZone staffers are now inclined to think the Hairy Twatter cast and crew should avoid emails from unknown senders. They suggest Jessie Andrews, Nora Sky, Sammy Grand, Tara Lynn Foxx, Katie St. Ives, Seth Gamble, Tyler Nixon, Logan Pierce, Michael Vegas and director Jordan Septo might want to contact their internet service providers and ask about anti-spell protection.
DreamZone has chosen to release the title as planned on August 28. Outside the wizarding community, feedback about the title has been positive, and the studio remains committed to its customers.
Paranormal activity aside, Hairy Twatter: A DreamZone Parody is now available for pre-order from DreamZone. Interested retailers should contact Hasner at (800) 999-2483, extension 1228, or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org. Hasner would appreciate restraint from making jokes about nuts.
For more about the title, go to HairyTwatterXXX.com, or follow DreamZone on Twitter: @dreamzoneXXX.