LOS ANGELES—The big boobs at Breitbart.com seem more concerned with scoring infantile ideological points than posting rational articles, but the bitches really botched it with their absurd use of Jenna Jameson, who retired from performing in 2007. Of course, that didn't stop some teabagger named Bill Bigelow from reaching deep into his personal repository of high school witticisms for a story headlined "Porn Queen Jenna Jameson Sued By Maserati" that has very little, if anything, to do with the Maserati.
Jameson is being sued by Maserati Financial Services for allegedly not making one payment in 2012 on a Quattroporte S she started leasing last year, but even though that really has nothing to do with her iconic career as an adult performer, Bigelow uses her situation and that former career to score a forced and feeble political point, while never deigning to remind the reader that she is retired, but taking the time to add a juvenile jab at CNN.
Stating that "Jameson may very well be suffering from the ravages of the Obama economy," he adds that "it’s likely that she misses her earlier halcyon days under a different administration," adding comments she made in 2007, a few months before retiring, about the upcoming election and her wish that a Democrat like Bill Clinton (or Clinton himself!) would regain the office, because, she said, "When Republicans are in office, the problem is, a lot of times they try to put their crosshairs on the adult industry, to make a point. It's sad, when there are so many different things that are going on in the world: war, and people are dying of genocide. It's sad that they feel that they have to target the sex industry, and not target the problems with insurance and the homeless and the AIDS epidemic."
Needless to say, Jameson was not talking directly about economics, but that didn't stop Bigelow from using her comments to make a point about her inability to pay the Maserati bill because of Obama. He could have used the opportunity to weigh in on something important, like freedom of speech, homelessness or health insurance, but of course why would he do that when he has a Clinton-loving porn star in his sites?
Instead, we get: "Now that she’s got her wish [to have a Democrat in the Oval Office], she doesn’t have the money to pay her bills. When the most successful star of the world’s oldest profession can’t pay her bills, you know the economy’s in trouble."
Now, I really cannot tell if this represents the type of painfully twisted reasoning found on Breitbart.com, but if so it must be why I don't often visit the site. Using the unexplained inability (or unwillingness!) of an adult performer who's been retired for five years to pay a monthly bill for a Maserati as the basis for a vague condemnation of the Obama economy is worse than silly; it's a rhetorical felony.
Combining it with grade school-level snark accusing her of being a prostitute is just needlessly ugly, even if it does get the intended appreciative guffaws from Breitbart fans, the vast majority of whom have certainly jerked off to Jenna Jameson in silent Republican shame at one point or another.