After reviewing hundreds of hardcore titles and attending numerous porn shoots over the years, I sometimes like to think I've seen it all.
About midway through Hooker Chic, the second title Bridgette Kerkove is directing for Corey Jordan's relatively new No Boundaries Entertainment, I get to witness my first triple fisting. Well, almost.
Bridgette slips her lubed fist into Venus's ass with jaw-dropping ease, Bad Bob (aka Johnny Thrust) semi fists the former Penthouse Pet's pussy and freshman Trick Dixon, at someone's direction, tries to fist her mouth, but being so new to the game, can't quite get that particular, well, trick down.
"Fuck my hand," Bridgette tells Venus.
"Oh my fucking God," Venus, who's fond of that line, moans. "Whole fucking fist in my ass."
"That's a beautiful thing," Bridgette reflects, as Jim Powers, the busiest man in (adult) show business shoots away.
Damn. A triple fisting would have been hot. Actually, it's pretty fucking hot as it is, though it's destined, obviously, only to show up in the Euro version. Seems there are some boundaries, after all.
American audiences will just have to settle for:
• Trick V-8ing Venus's asshole as Bad Bob fucks her face.
• Both boys d.p.ing her with ferocious, earthquake-like energy after Bad has taught Trick the drill: "You (Venus) spread your legs. You (Trick) close yours."
• Bad and Trick taking turns blasting her butt in piledrivers.
• Both guys blowing their loads on Venus's hand as it semi-fists her ass (thumb out; suitable for American audiences), after which she withdraws it and licks it clean.
Good, wholesome family fun. Actually nasty, state of the art hard-edge.
Bridgette, who runs a tight, no-nonsense set, stands off to the side, her arms folded, looking pleased.
On a nearby table, next to a portrait of the clan whose seven-figure home is serving as the set, a framed inspirational card advises, "Count your blessings."
Believe me, I have been, though undoubtedly not in any way the card designers intended.
No Boundaries' Hooker Chic will be available to whore it up in stores this summer.