PORTLAND, OR—Ah, to be young, in love and into bondage sex in a Subaru. Lord knows, there’s nothing like a Subaru for bondage sex play. Just ask Nikolas Harbar, 31, and his girlfriend, Stephanie Pelzner, 26, the couple whose mug shots are currently circulating through cyberspace like a speeding bullet.
News articles, of which there are currently 104 and counting (with many mentioning Subaru in the headline), say that the two were engaged in consensual sex play on Valentine’s Day when someone saw them drive by with Pelzner naked and bound with her mouth taped shut in the back of … the Subaru.
A call was made to 911. Nine cop cars were dispatched, an address associated with the license plate on the Subaru was located, and after 20 minutes or so the Subaru, with Harbar driving and Pelzner still bound inside, drove up.
After explaining that the apparent kidnapping using a Subaru was really just some consensual role playing between a loving couple, the pair was still arrested for disorderly conduct in the second degree.
"The concern is their actions created a pretty substantial public alarm, to the point where you have a 911 caller saying she's concerned about this person tied up naked in the back of a car," a Portland police spokesman told the Los Angeles Times in an article titled "Bound, naked in a Subaru: Valentine's Day role-playing ends badly." (Not for Subaru!)
The Times also reported that comments have since been posted to the Portland Police Department’s Facebook page critical of the department for arresting the couple.
"Nothing wrong with that, they were just trying to have some fun, you monsters," wrote one critic. Another said, "She should be booked for not wearing her safety belt,” which is a point well-taken, though driving in a Subaru is like wearing a seat belt.
Despite all the publicity, however, no one apparently noticed the obvious fact that this was all a clever non-traditional marketing stunt by Subaru. Has anyone checked to see which one of these two works for the car company that has perfected such cool, all-wheel-drive vehicles?
Have you ever had sex in a Subaru? Ever played bondage role playing games in a Subaru? Well, it’s the fucking bomb, even in the middle of a snow storm!
Don’t take our word for it. Ask the Winter Olympians.
To learn more about Subarus, go here.
Photo: Secret Subaru marketers Nikolas Harbar and Stephanie Pelzner, with Cruisewolf.