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It's Not the Plot of a Bad Porn Movie... Yet

Surely someone is doing a parody of '24'?

It's Not the Plot of a Bad Porn Movie... Yet

CLOUD KOOKOO LAND—Readers of WorldNetDaily founder Joseph Farah's G2 Bulletin (just $99 per year) were treated to one of the finest terrorism rumors we've yet seen. Seems that certain Muslim doctors who trained at some of the UK's leading teaching hospitals were secretly learning how to insert implants filled with high explosives into women's breasts, after which the newly-enhanced babes would be sent out as suicide bombers.

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"The lethal explosives—usually PETN (pentaerythritol Tetrabitrate[sic])—are inserted during the operation inside the plastic shapes," Farah quotes agents for Britain's MI-5 intelligence service as saying. "The breast is then sewn up. Similar surgery has been performed on male suicide bombers. In their cases, the explosives are inserted in the appendix area or in a buttock."

So... tits 'n' ass bombers?

"Properly inserted, the implant would be virtually impossible to detect by the usual airport scanning machines," warned MI-5 head Jonathan Evans. "You would need to subject a suspect to a sophisticated X-ray. Given that the explosive would be inserted in a sealed plastic sachet, and would be a small amount, would make it all the more impossible to spot it with the usual body scanner."

Farah also reports that "[e]xplosive experts at Britain's Porton Down biological and chemical warfare research center told MI-5 that a sachet containing as little as five ounces of PETN when activated would blow 'a considerable hole' in an airline's skin which would guarantee it would crash."

Apparently, implanting someone's ass or abdomen with high explosives was considered a good idea since many diabetics inject themselves with insulin in those locations, and as many will recall, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the "Christmas bomber," attempted to ignite the PETN concealed in his underwear by injecting it with triacetone triperoxide, an activating solution—which in Abdul Mutallab's case simply set his genitals on fire.

But perhaps the alleged physician-terrorists are hoping that someone sitting next to an ass bomber on an airplane wouldn't give a second thought to their seatmate plunging a syringe into his belly or butt—or a woman injecting her tits.

Farah and WorldNetDaily are perhaps best remembered for their claim that President Barack Obama was not born in the United States—after they had "verified" and published a copy of his birth certificate.






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Mark Kernes

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