HOLLYWOOD—The city of Los Angeles may be roiling in massive debt, with the few millions it's saved through higher-than-expected tax revenues and cuts in several city departments staving off dozens if not hundreds of projected layoffs until January 1—but no worries: The city's vice cops still have the time and budget to do "walk-throughs" of the city's few remaining porn theaters... including last night's visit to the Tiki Theatre, where they found actor Fred Willard watching one of three straight porn movies playing there, and allegedly playing with himself.
Pretty much everyone knows who Fred Willard is, whether they're really old and remember him from 1977's faux talk show Fernwood Tonight or his appearances in the '80s on The Love Boat ... or younger and caught him in more recent fare like the movies Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle or Anchorman. The point is, he's worked pretty steadily for the past 45 years or so, so one might think he could afford a DVD player and a TV... but what do we know? Maybe he lives with someone who objects to porn, or maybe he's just an exhibitionist at heart.
In any case, the Tiki, located at 5462 Santa Monica Boulevard just off Western Avenue in the heart of Hollywood, was playing either Zero Tolerance's Official The Client List Parody, Combat Zone's Relax He's My Stepdad 2, or Evil Angel's Follow Me 2—the trio are played in rotation almost around the clock—and according to TMZ.com, vice cops discovered Willard at 8:45 p.m., allegedly with his cock out of his pants, as they did what they described as a "random walk-through," which is allowed as part of the city's licensing regulations for adult theaters.
Willard was promptly arrested under Penal Code 647(a)—"lewd conduct"—and released shortly after. According to the Shouse Law Group website, penalties for this misdemeanor can include "probation, fines, counseling, an AIDS test, an order to stay away from the location, and sometimes even jail," but "it does not require you to register as a sex offender." Still, it is a black mark on Willard's permanent record... a record that will follow him for the rest of this 79-year-old man's life.
Now, if only the city attorney can find a courtroom that's still open to try him in!